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i’m trying to get free clothes from a company on purpose for the first time so i’m curious to see how this turns out. i barely make any money and all of my money goes to music, so free clothes would be nice. i’m so thankful for forty ounce.

i’m so nervous right now! my tummy hurts. i’ve also only had a few bites of oatmeal today.

edit: played two “never before heard” songs on turntable today. felt good.

my bedroom is the least inspiring place to make music but i guess i’m stuck here for a while. i made marsh pretty quickly partially because i had just painted my room. buying new things and going new places helps too but i don’t have any money and i don’t have anywhere to go. i can still make stuff. it just takes more effort i guess.

one of the labels i’m supposed to send my new songs to is a major label, and i just remembered yesterday when i started working on this new song. i’m close to having enough to send to the labels i think. none of them ever say how many they want. i don’t expect any of them to do anything, but they asked for it and i never sent them frequency. anyway i’ve been thinking about what i would do if a major (or any) label just gave me money and resources and let me do basically whatever i want. that would be so much fun. i have a lot of stuff i want to do.

i just started a new song for the record. it’s heavier than the last song. it’s still not the right song to release first, but it’s going to be pretty good i think. i don’t know, i might just release the other song. probably not. these accidental sounds always appear into my songs and i don’t know what they are but most of the time i like it. there is a random piano sound in this song and i think it’s coming from one of the guitars. i might add piano to the song now. i know i want to add some more subtle things i’m not sure what though. i’m done for now. i’ll work on the instrumental and lyrics this weekend and record vox next week.

yes! the guy who i wanted to work on a music video with for this song wants to do it!!! this is going to be awesome! i hope so at least. his style really blends well with my ideas so i think it will turn out really well as long as our communication is on point. i guess he’ll be the first person besides my manager to hear anything from the record. i shouldn’t start on the video just yet though because i don’t want to lose focus on the record right now. i think i’ll start when i get the first single done. i’m not really into a lot of new music at the moment, so i’m trying to make what i want to hear (as usual).

i’m already 88% sure of what this record is going to be called, and i have been for a while. it means a lot of different things to me and it’s the easiest way to sum up a lot of things in my life. that sounds more dramatic than it is. anyway i found out that an lp just came out with the same name and i almost changed my mind because i don’t like having the same things as other people sometimes. so, even though it’s the same name it isn’t actually the same name it just seems like it so i don’t care and i’m sticking with it. nothing else seems like it would work to me anyway.

edit: i just came up with a new shirt design and the way i’m describing right now is “ahh dude that i so freaking sick!!!”. the shirt has nothing to do with me though, it would just make an awesome shirt.

most of the songs that i make and keep are the most simple ones. those are the ones that get stuck in my head and are easier to write lyrics to. i like it best when i can find a balance of the “complexity” of the song and how catchy the riff is. if it wasn’t for the bassline in the chorus of frequency it would have been way too boring for me to finish. that song annoys me now i guess because it’s my last “official release” in a year now. haha wow that means it’s been a year since umm old flame and stuff.

i’ve been feeling weird and lacking musical inspiration for the past few days. i think i’ll just stay up late tonight and see what my brain does and try to record it. i’m already tired. oh and i keep making kind of slower songs and i don’t want to because i’m going to tour with these songs. this is the first time i’ve taken my live show into consideration with recording/writing. i’m going to try to make a raw carrot cake now. i have the idea in my head i just have to try it. it should work.

this record better be good because it’s definitely taking a while

well i just got a sexy sounding collab track. i instantly thought of tom being on it too so we’ll see once i start working on it whenever that is. i can’t wait to collab with him because i just know we can make something awesome. he’s my r. kelly.